Monday, October 30, 2006
the one about my little secret
No one knew about my driving test. The only ones who knew the exact day, date and time were my parents, myself and God.
My last few revision lessons were totally hopeless. I mounted kerbs, I did wide left turns and narrow right turns, I cried behind the wheel. I felt useless. I felt like a failure.
Why did I choose not to tell anyone at all?
Why did I choose not to ask for prayer support or emotional support from those who claim who love me?
Why did I choose to fight this battle alone with God?
Perhaps this question is not meant for me to answer.
So who is the happiest when I pass?
My parents? Me? Those who believed in me? Those who were proven wrong? Or the people who would love to stand to gain from my license?
I believe God is the happiest of all. I imagine Him looking down, swelling with pride as I received my photocard license. He was my only Support, my only Cheerleader and the only Presence I want to bring with me. He was there when I gave up on myself, He was there in my disappointment, in my failure and in my success. No one knew how hard it was for me but Him.
I fought. I came forth victorious. But it was not my victory alone.
God fought alongside me all the time.
Gold 90.5 FM is playing lovely jazz and blues. Hmmm... makes me feel like dancing.
11:31 PM