Sunday, September 30, 2007

the one about what i can't do

Face it, no one is all powerful or all-knowing except God Himself. And sometimes it takes a lot of courage for someone to confess his inability for everything.

It has been 2 months and counting in my pursue for a media education here in NTU, and I have a conclusion.

A tad too short a time for me to come to a conclusion, you say?
Sometimes, self-realisation arrives faster than others. Self deception never succeeds.

I suck as a journalist.
I lack the spark, the desire, the fire and most importantly, the passion for truth FOR the people. I mean, okay, I like to read, I like to form my own opinions and perceptions but so what? I can't put them down into words! I can say them out but not write them down!

Not to mention that I will be biased. I cannot promise that I will not include my Christian upbringing, values or totally restrain from being influenced by biblical truths in my writings.
I can't promise total objectivity, or at least not at my present stage.

So, my conclusion? I suck as a journalist.
Me? I'm going into broadcast. We need entertainment in our lives.

11:55 PM

Monday, September 24, 2007

the one as the future unfolds

Read the news these days and read Ezekiel 38.

Read about the rearmament of Russia. Read about the similarities between Putin and Hitler. Then read Ezekiel 38 again.

I believe in what the Bible says.
If it says that one day, Russia will lead a coalition army to attack a seemingly peaceful Israel, then it will come to past.
"When?", you ask.
I do not know the timeframe of how future events will unfold. Only God knows what's coming next.

Does it scare you, freak you? Does the idea of being "left behind" leave you shaking? Does reading about the horrors of the Tribulation make you doubt the grace and love of God?
Don't fear, because the gift of salvation is joy.
Don't fear, because remember that God is not just a God of love but a God of justice. All in all, He is a God of mercy and grace because Jesus Christ is love and grace impersonated.
Don't fear, because He has not turned His back on this wicked generation yet.
There is still time, but how much more?

Ezekiel 38:14-16
"Therefore, son of man, prophesy and say to Gog: 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: In that day, when my people Israel are living in safety, will you not take notice of it? You will come from your place in the far north, you and many nations with you, all of them riding on horses, a great horde, a mighty army. You will advance against my people Israel like a cloud that covers the land. In days to come, O Gog, I will bring you against my land, so that the nations may know me when I show myself holy through you before their eyes."

9:50 PM

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

the one about merdeka

I love history, coz it's amazing to note how parallel the present is with the past.

Recently in my history class, we started examining and discussing the post-war events, which means we're moving closer and closer to where we are now. As I am reading through my materials, pondering over my tutorial questions and listening intently during lecture, my mind was racing.

Is it any wonder that the younger Singaporeans have taken our independence for granted? Perhaps we had not gone through what our forefather had gone through, which is why we adopt this "bo chap" attitude towards local politics. We had not gone through the pains of war to ignite feelings of nationalism in us. We have not experienced colonialism to feel strongly the need to break free. We were not there when the Communist Emergency engulfed the Malayan region to appreciate democracy. We had not last through the wars of politics from 1949 - 1959 to feel the excitement of elections and polling.

You know, I watched that scene where MM Lee Kuan Yew shouted "Merdeka" over the podium after one rally in 1959, and I felt something rising up from within me.

How different is Singapore now?
As I read through the details of how Singapore achieved self-independence, I guess I can sense the excitement of that era, the need to break away from colonialism, and thus the fight for independence through merger. I actually do wish that Singapore shows the same level of participation in elections now, perhaps to show more concern in who is governing Singapore, why they want the power of governance, what are they promising us and in the end, what's our take in these matters.

The 2006 elections perhaps was the most exciting episode in my memory, considering that I was not old enough to understand and witness PAP losing quite a number of seats in 1991. I was inspired by the Worker's Party last year, because of their "pro-Singapore" stand rather the usual blind "pro-party" stand.

Well, I'm not going all "nationalistic" now, just reflecting from what I've been learning in class.
Some things to cheer about: as of next year, I am a legal voter!! Yayness!!
Right, like it makes a difference...

1:36 PM

Friday, September 14, 2007

the one about living life to the fullest

Before I drop dead, I want to live life to the fullest.

This thought suddenly popped into my head just as I am reading through my reading materials for Monday's lecture.

I've come to realise how small the box we fix ourselves in.
I feel like the frog in the well, that all I see right now is all there is. Or is it not?

So then, how do we live life to the fullest?

Just by grasping every opportunity that comes our way?
Or by creating opportunities to help us climb up the social ladder?
Do we wait to be part of something?
Or do we create something for people to be part of?
Is it just pure fun?
Or just achievements?

In the first place, what's the definition of "living life to the fullest"?
Absence of regrets?
Satisfaction of life?

I'm fixing my eyes on Christ, Heaven and eternity. Coz I've come to realise it's when you've died to self, then you will start living in Christ. And when you live in Christ, you not just live now, but you live for eternity.

4:48 PM

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

the one about a triangle of trust

All my life, since the day I started taking responsibility for myself, I've lived by 2 mottos: "hard work never kills" and "no expectations, no disappointment."

Some people say I work too hard. But I believe that hard work never kills, so I push myself to the ultimate I can ever reach. It never matters if I am overcome by fatigue or hunger, my question to myself will always be: is that all you can put in? I work very hard, really I do. And if I eventually kill myself, it'll never be due to the fact that the work was hard, but perhaps of some other reasons.

Secondly, if I hold no expectations of people or situations, then I will not be disappointed if they fail to deliver certain expectations. Even if they do, then it's a bonus instead a right. I decided that if I think in such context, my life will be happier.

Last night after dinner, Geri and Daffy came and we talked. The 'girl' kind of talk. We shared our hearts out, we talked, we bared our hearts out. And I teared. All in all, what was shared was kept secret within the triangle. Guess I offered a part of myself to them and they to me as well. Surprisingly, I opened up faster now as compared to in the past. Guess it's the environment. When you face them everyday in the same stringent environment, you'll learn to depend on each other more. I really do appreciate the time taken out to just talk. In the midst of being so busy with life and studies, we forgot to sit down and appreciate people's company. I had a great time last night, coz it ended in laughter. That was very much needed. =)

I love hall life.

11:35 PM

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

the one when it's general

I realised that I am one of those busy maniacs in university who still manage to blog regularly. Maybe it's because of my love of talking to myself, and that this blog is a channel for me to pour out whatever I needed to unleash. Maybe I just like writing here.

Well, please don't question why I'm still awake at this hour. It feels like it's 11 plus at night but it's actually nearing 3am already. Because I feel so awake, I'm devouring my public administration reading materials required for tutorial this Friday. I wanted to start on my research on the future of media since the book I loaned out is due this coming Monday. I'm getting my momentum when it comes to studying, and I feel kind of happy staying here.

Contrary to what you guys were thinking, life's great here! I do get figments of the outside world once in a while when beautiful people like Jerelyn or my brother come to NTU to surprise the guts out of me. Not to mention that both brought Cafe Mocha from Coffee Bean (since there is no starbucks at JP) and Jerelyn even brought subway for me!

I'm like jogging more often than I did in poly or during my long break. I eat regularly, or as regularly I can. I go out for occasional "social" activities, on adventures to others' rooms and interact with more of my fellow peers as compared to my poly days. And of course, I'm studying harder than ever before. I don't remember studying so hard for O levels at the beginning of the school year, or put in so much effort for my poly papers from the start of term. Yet, I feel satisfied.

Oh, I managed to squeeze out time for a visit back to SP last Friday. Went back to meet up, talk and catch up with Jen. * Smile* It tied in with Teacher's Day too. Somehow I forgot about Teacher's Day in that little pea brain of mine. And now I'm feeling guilty because I didn't get to return to SHPS.

And you know, I beg to differ; I have a life.

Sometimes, you need to find the little joys in your mundane life to see that life is not that bleak.
Sometimes, you need to search for that colour in your black and white.
Sometimes, you need to just look on the bright side of life.
Most of the times, you just need to look up above for help.

I am going to bed.