Saturday, February 24, 2007
the one about random photos
The aunt with her 2 nieces..
Contamination of the mind.
The wantons we made!
Familiar Sights
And not forgetting the beautiful Dunman High =)
10:57 PM
Friday, February 23, 2007
the one after the long CNY hols
I'm sorry if I'm missed here, but procrastination got the better of me. I was in such a holiday mood that I put off finalising, rendering and burning out of the SNOW teaser. The result? The sight of Joycelyn in a mad frantic trying to get it done so that she could pass it to Douglas on time. I must have missed rushing last-minute stuff for a video project.CNY was gratefully peaceful. This year's celebrations lacked the usual noise and gutter and whatever we had in the past. Surprisingly, we were back at home before 10pm, which was never the case for all the CNY I had endured. I dedicate it to the fact that this is the second CNY we're having without my grandma, and not forgetting that my 5th aunt and my cousin Andrew have just lost their husband and father a month ago.
So it's a quiet affair this year. For that I'm quite satisfied. Yes, I love crowds but I love crowds with people whom I'm comfortable with and my extended family is the last thing that reminds me of comfort. And I bet my bottom dollar that they'll be doing the same thing next year again; so-called female cousins photos, they remember everyone but me and doesn't seem to notice that I'm missing. It's always either one of my aunts or uncles or my mother who realised that I'm not where I am supposed to be. But please, even if they offer me, I would rather not appear in a photo with them. No love lost, no love gained. They grew up forgetting about me, and I grew up having forgotten them.
No love lost, no love gained. I hate having fake smiles and laughter.
Thank God for proper company on CNY Day 3. Alan, Shu Hui, CK, Sherilyn and I went house-visiting! It was sher's place in the morning WHERE they taught me and Shu Hui how to play manjong. Hah! Contamination of the mind! Then they came over my place to watch Wu Zun! Played a few rounds of Blackjack with them before Alan, CK and I headed to Shu's place. Then we decided to play Blackjack with money but the stakes were low. Finally went over Jeremy's place and went out to the airport for dinner.
If you ask me, I find CNY Day 3 the most fulfilling, the happiest and the most enjoyable day out of the 3 days. Don't get me wrong. I don't hate my family; I am just unable to love every one of them.
CNY only happens once a year. And I can understand why that is so.
Pam, CY and I are meeting up on Sunday for more visitations. Yay!
12:56 AM
Thursday, February 15, 2007
the one about conditioning
I made a choice that I hope that's glorifying unto God. No matter where I am, what I do, or which talent I use, I pray that my life will be a testimony for His glory.Jeremy's dad lent me "Brave New World" so I've been savouring every single word of it happily for the past few days. Hah. Come to think of it, this is my third time reading it cover to cover. It's such an utopia world created in the story. Like what I told his dad, George Orwell "1984" has a greater possibility of coming true in the future. To be controlled by a world power who constantly change historical facts to keep up with current events so as to let it appear that the citizens are happier sounds more real.
Nonetheless, I adore BNW.
Truth & beauty vs. Comfort & happiness; which would you choose? In a world where people are happy because they get what they want and do not want what they cannot get, where social stability means the lack of love and proper emotions, where everyone is conditioned such that you can't help but behave how you behave, would you stop by and see the beauty in things? Would you see the emptiness and seek the truth of why you live the way you live?
Aldous Huxley missed an important point. There's a deep longing in every being to find God. Question will be in whom or what will we find our God/god.
Not to mention slogans that do not make sense but people believe them nonetheless. "Everyone belong to everyone else."
They remind of the Party's slogans in "1984", 'War is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength" and no one seems to see the irony in them. It's amazing what power society holds on each one of us.
I'm going to catch up on my reading. I bought "Sophie's world" yesterday. It was 4 years ago when I first read it so perhaps I would be more able to comprehend it now. Ah Ally... Mitch Albom's books please. *grin*
1:19 AM
Friday, February 02, 2007
the one about a choice
What would you do if you were me?What if you have to give up one ministry to serve in another?
Would you?
Lord, I just want to serve You. I just want to give You back what You have given me. Regardless of where I am, or the limited talents I have, I just want to serve You. I just want to be stripped bare of my talents, such that I may stand before You at the end of my life and say "Lord, I stand empty before You because I have used all You've given me for Your glory". Can't it be as simple as that?
Isn't it the same God regardless of which ministry I serve in?
I can't make this choice.