Friday, November 24, 2006

the one about being on cloud nine

I was browsing through a bookstore, my favourite shop in the whole mall, and I heard a familiar voice. Immediately, I broke out into a fast walk to Semabawang Music and bought Corrinne May's "The Gift" and it is now repeating itself on itunes. What bliss. *grin*

Christmas is coming. It is such a beautiful season.
It's a season to celebrate the greatest love of all, where Jesus willingly gave up divinity for humanity.
It's a season to share the bountiful blessings you've received throughout the year.
It's a time to conclude your year by being grateful for everything, beginning by showing gratitude to our Lord Jesus Christ.
It's the time to for family and friends.
Most importantly, it's time to celebrate, because there wouldn't be redemption if there wasn't Christmas 2000 years ago.

And what better way to start Christmas early this year with a good book and Corrinne May's Christmas album playing in the background? Heh!

Today is like Cloud 9 day. My supervisor told me that I can start editing a program. Although it's not the whole episode, I consider it a milestone. *smile* I received nomination to become the graduate speaker for SMIT Graduation in May 2007. I received my conditional offer into the University of Canberra to pursue a Bachelor in Communications (Media/Multimedia Production).

Seriously, they conked out my application. I indicated a double degree but they only gave me one. I'll try to see if they can let me take both together. In that case, I can pursue my dream and my interest. But I have no idea if I'm going to take up that offer. It's too expensive. If I can't get a scholarship, I can't go. My dad can't pay for me because my brother has taken my opportunity.

It's unfair. I feel darn angry at my brother. I should be given the chance instead of him. But what can I do? I'm the daughter and he's the son .

If I can't get a scholarship, I pray that at least my dad has the means to pay for local university.

Ah well, today is Cloud 9 day and it's one more month to Christmas. So BE JOYOUS!!

I believe that You are the Answer to everything.

8:49 PM

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

the one about disappointment

I'm heartbroken.

FCP 4.5 HD won't work on Jerri because she does not have an AGP graphics card. It can't support FCP!!

I was so looking forward to trying the tutorials ET burnt for me. *Sob*

Guess I need to look for FCP Express...

-Totally heartbroken-

12:41 AM

Monday, November 20, 2006

the one about beauty

Those who say beauty is the eye of the beholder are liars.

I want to be beautiful in people's eyes. Who doesn't? The world sees beauty first, not brains. They look at your eyes, your ears, your complexion, your teeth, your smile. They NEVER look at your character nor your "inner beauty" first. So trust me, the world talks bullshit most of the time.

I have beautiful friends since young. And people like me are there to let them outshine us. I've lost count of how many guys have come up to me to ask for my help to woo my friends. And the sickening thing? These girls know that they're beautiful coz people tell them so, but they deny it. Because of sheer humility? Or they want to hear those words they love to hear once more? I don't know because I was never and will never be like them.

Some girls can twist men around their fingers. I can't. So I stomp them under my feet and show them who's boss. Am I proud of it? No, I feel bitter.

Never once have I felt beautiful but does it stop me from being who I am? It may be a blessing sometimes. It makes you realise that your friends are your friends for really who you are. CY & Pam have seen me grow from the 11-year-old to the woman I am becoming. Clara watched me grow out of puberty. They're not my friends because I have perfect skin or big sparkling eyes. They are my friends because I am me.

Inferior complexity you say? I beg to differ. I love who I am. I know who I'm not and who I can't be. My lack of of physical beauty has never stopped me from becoming the kind of person I'm supposed to be. And in the end, even if no one appreciates me, I appreciate me.

"You are beautiful, no matter what they say. Coz words can't bring you down"

11:46 PM

Friday, November 10, 2006

the one about rainy days

When I was young, I hated rainy days. I hated having my clothes wet; I hated being cold; most of all, I hated the rain because it felt sad.

As I grew up, I learnt how to appreciate rain. For one, it reflects my mood. It rained when I walked out after a major disagreement with my EDS friends and leaders. The rain that fell alongside the speeding MRT train that afternoon surprisingly, was a welcoming sight to me.

Or the mini storm that blew this afternoon after I STORMED from Funan to Miss Clarity's to deliver Jeremy's DV tapes that cost me 3 hours of my time.

I had a good mind to just walk in the rain. Like who cares if I get wet and get sick from it? I was feeling damn frustrated, pissed, disappointed, angry and sad all at once. Above all, I was feeling sorry for my sad sorry self. Stupid pride of mine.

Just before I walked out onto the pavement into the pouring rain, not to mention me being the only idiot to do that, it suddenly dawned upon me. I may love him so much to run an errand for him without asking anything back in return but I do love myself too.

So I took out my brolly and walked in the rain, throwing off that idiotic self of mine. Looked up to the skies where water was being poured down from Heaven and smiled. See? I'm not alone. The skies are shedding water too.

I understand one fact; if I want others to love me, I need to learn to love myself first.

God picked the right day to do His laundry.

8:37 PM

Monday, November 06, 2006

the one about parachute band

My dad is away for business trip. He flew off yesterday morning and I sent him off to the airport. So now, my brother is the only man in the house. I think because he's the only man around, he made it a point to come home early, buy dinner for us and call us to account for himself if he's coming home late. Trust me, he hasn't done these before.

We do grow up when it is time. Don't we?

Parachute Band came to LEW yesterday. Worship was... ministering. Proves that we can worship God no matter where we are, no matter what's available or what's not available, regardless of how good the music is, despite the little problems here and there; God doesn't care. He wants your heart.

Have you ever worshipped God with more than your voice, your hands, your feet or your body? Have you ever worshipped God with your heart? In spirit and in truth?

Ok, up next, LEW Speedlight is claiming our promise land!!

"And I reach out, receive Your endless love"
-'Lord of the Heavens' by The Parachute Band